I can has deathburger?

I was determined to stay away from my blog until after I go back to school in mid-January. Because, you know, when you sit around the house all day for an entire month, the last thing you want to do is try to entertain yourself. I have literally been sleeping until 1 PM (not intentional, and not wanted). Tonight I went to bed at about 8:45, only to wake up at 11:45. Funny how that works. Since I have nothing better to do until I decide to pop Happy Gilmore into my brand-new Acer widescreen laptop (my old one broke, sadly), I’m going to write a post.

No, not about Christmas. I was filled with Christmas cheer this season, and I’m still listening to Christmas music, but you’ve read enough about how blessed we are. You must be over it.

Here’s an interesting lil’ news story I found nearly a month ago: a guy attacked his girlfriend. With a hamburger.

The guy and his girlfriend got into a fight, and she wanted to get out of the car, and he wouldn’t let her. For some reason, the window as open (clearly, she didn’t want to leave the car that badly), and so she threw his drink out of the window.
Now, I totally understand what happens next. If someone threw my Coca-Cola out of the car, I would be quite upset. Would I buy another, or at least make the perp buy me another? Oh, heck no. I would obviously take my delicious McDonald’s sandwich and smash it into the face of the soda-throwing hellraiser.

That’s what you would do, right?

Now, look, the guy really shouldn’t have done it. It was a bit of an overreaction. But should he really have been charged with assault? The guy was released on $1,000 bail for smearing a hamburger on his girlfriend’s face! Seriously, what I want to know is a) why he wouldn’t let her out of the car and b) why she couldn’t get out of the car. Because if you’re really determined, you will get out of that car. Particularly if the vehicle’s windows are open.

So, what have we learned? Torture’s fine, murderers can get released in a matter of years, but those damn boyfriends with their hamburgers?! They’re clearly a menace to our society. And they must be stopped.

Published in: on December 27, 2008 at 1:08 am  Leave a Comment  
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