Worst Job: 911 Operator

Sometimes I read stories that depress me. I can handle reading about murder, torture, suicides, and whatnot. It’s sad, but it’s life, and I’m used to it. But what I cannot handle is the blatant stupidity of people. It doesn’t take much to find stories of people doing atrociously dumb things, apparently without even realizing how idiotic they’re being.


Take, for instance, the people who call 911 (you know, the emergency line) for non-emergency calls.

One man called 911 because the Burger King he was at didn’t have any lemonade. Very sad. He’s 66 and located in – where else? – Florida.
Not many sordid details to that, just open & shut idiocy.

Police report from the epic Burger King/lemonade incident

But it’s not just the Average Joe who makes stupid 911 calls. No, some big-time Joe’s do the same thing. Take Joe McCain, for instance. Joe McCain is ALSO 66 years old, which I think is more than an amazing coincidence. He’s also, in my opinion, a bit of a jerk. There’s always one…
Anyway, Joe McCain called 911 over a traffic issue. Was there an accident that he was kindly reporting? Or a car going the wrong way in a one-way lane? Maybe a dangerous driver was weaving all over the road?
No, of course not. If that were the case, he wouldn’t be on this blog post, obviously.
Joe called 911 because he was unhappy that “one side at the damn drawbridge of 95 traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic’s coming the other way across the drawbridge.”
The 911 operator responded credulity, “Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic?”
Joe McCain realized his error and promptly apologized.
Or, he said some sort of expletive and hung up on the guy. One of those.

The operator called him back and was probably very much surprised when the call went to the voice mail of Joe McCain. But he still manages to act in a professional manner, leaving a message for Joe, explaining that 911 is not his own personal soapbox to complain about traffic. Joe calls him back and, apparently not realizing that he’s speaking with the same operator, actually tries to complain. So, naturally, the guys chews him out AGAIN.
Eventually Joe apologized, of course, seeing as how his brother was actively trying to get elected, and stupid family members don’t tend to help with that. The annoying thing is that, unlike Jean, I don’t believe Joe was ever charged with anything.
Here’s the video on blessed YouTube.

There are many, many more stupid 911 calls, but I don’t have the time, energy, or space to blog about them. And you don’t have the commitment to read about all of them. So instead, watch this amusing video.

Published in: on February 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm  Comments (2)  
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Kids These Days

It was bad enough reading about a child who shot his babysitter. It was worse hearing about Michael Phelps’ bong incident.

But this really takes the cake.

Have any of you seen the movie Alfie? I know there’s an old one and a new one, but in the new one, Jude Law plays Alfie, a true women’s man. Probably because of the accent. Jude Law is hot, but he ain’t that hot.
Meet Alfie Patten, a 13-year-old father. I’m sure you’ve heard about him. It’s huge news. This young boy, who looks about 8, had sex with a 15-year-old (he was 12 at the time, she may have been 14, I’m not certain), and nine months later, guess what? He’s taking on the responsibilities of being a father!
Except, of course, he’s not. Because he’s too young. So he’ll have family members, church members, and social services to carry most of the burden. So will the mother, of course.
It’s bad enough that a 15-year-old girl just had a child, but with a 13-year-old boy? Seriously?
Here’s the best – worst – part: several other teenage boys have claimed to have had relations with the girl, and two in particular are stating that the baby might be theirs. I don’t know what to think. Apparently the mother of the girl allowed her daughter to share her bed with male guests, so who knows?

It’s disgusting. It’s terrible. It’s worrying. The truly aggravating thing is that some people have said that no fingers should be pointed, and we should all just be glad they had the child, rather than aborting it. I mean, okay, I’m glad they didn’t kill the baby. But that doesn’t mean we should pretend like there’s nothing wrong with the situation, because guess what? There is something wrong with it! Hugely wrong!

Have you heard about rainbow parties? Not exactly a new thing, but kept well under wraps. It makes me sick to write about them. Rainbow parties are where all the girls put on different shades of lipstick, and the guys try to get as much oral sex as possible, and whichever guy as the most colorful penis at the end of the night “wins.” Some say (like the article I linked) that such parties aren’t common. Hopefully that’s true, but they’re common enough to have been mentioned in popular literature.

Or how about the great game Stoneface? Would you like to guess what that is? No, trust me, you wouldn’t. Stoneface is when a bunch of guys sit at a table, and one of them is receiving oral sex, and if he shows any emotion, he loses.
No. I’m not making that up. Yes. I wish I was.

I think this is a problem. I don’t know what went wrong, or when, but this over-sexed culture needs to be fixed. I’m all for sex, but let me just say that I waited until I was 18 years old and had been in a steady relationship for several months before I had sex. That doesn’t make me better than anyone, but it does make me realize that when I did finally have sex, I was able to maturely consider any consequences, and I didn’t fear that it would be nothing but a pointless hook-up.

I can’t preach to parents, because I’m only 20 and I’m not a parent. But I can say that I’ve seen parents who are too strict, so that their kids try to rebel at every possible turn, and I have seen parents who are too lax, so their kids turn out completely wild from the start. I’ve also seen parents – like my own – who have a good mixture of being strict and fun, and if every parent could master that balance like mine did, I think we’d all be better off (awww).

Published in: on February 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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