Worst Job: 911 Operator

Sometimes I read stories that depress me. I can handle reading about murder, torture, suicides, and whatnot. It’s sad, but it’s life, and I’m used to it. But what I cannot handle is the blatant stupidity of people. It doesn’t take much to find stories of people doing atrociously dumb things, apparently without even realizing how idiotic they’re being.


Take, for instance, the people who call 911 (you know, the emergency line) for non-emergency calls.

One man called 911 because the Burger King he was at didn’t have any lemonade. Very sad. He’s 66 and located in – where else? – Florida.
Not many sordid details to that, just open & shut idiocy.

Police report from the epic Burger King/lemonade incident

But it’s not just the Average Joe who makes stupid 911 calls. No, some big-time Joe’s do the same thing. Take Joe McCain, for instance. Joe McCain is ALSO 66 years old, which I think is more than an amazing coincidence. He’s also, in my opinion, a bit of a jerk. There’s always one…
Anyway, Joe McCain called 911 over a traffic issue. Was there an accident that he was kindly reporting? Or a car going the wrong way in a one-way lane? Maybe a dangerous driver was weaving all over the road?
No, of course not. If that were the case, he wouldn’t be on this blog post, obviously.
Joe called 911 because he was unhappy that “one side at the damn drawbridge of 95 traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic’s coming the other way across the drawbridge.”
The 911 operator responded credulity, “Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic?”
Joe McCain realized his error and promptly apologized.
Or, he said some sort of expletive and hung up on the guy. One of those.

The operator called him back and was probably very much surprised when the call went to the voice mail of Joe McCain. But he still manages to act in a professional manner, leaving a message for Joe, explaining that 911 is not his own personal soapbox to complain about traffic. Joe calls him back and, apparently not realizing that he’s speaking with the same operator, actually tries to complain. So, naturally, the guys chews him out AGAIN.
Eventually Joe apologized, of course, seeing as how his brother was actively trying to get elected, and stupid family members don’t tend to help with that. The annoying thing is that, unlike Jean, I don’t believe Joe was ever charged with anything.
Here’s the video on blessed YouTube.

There are many, many more stupid 911 calls, but I don’t have the time, energy, or space to blog about them. And you don’t have the commitment to read about all of them. So instead, watch this amusing video.

Published in: on February 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm  Comments (2)  
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I Fought the Law, and the Law Won, but the Law was Wasting its Time

I am a delinquent.

Yes, it’s true, I have broken the law. Several times. I have participated in underage drinking…um….vandalized a school bus seat when I was in the sixth grade…let’s see…I smoked cigarettes on and off for three months when I was sixteen…oh! And I have some overdue library books.
Out of all of those, right now I’m thinking that the one that I might have to worry about the most is the theft of library books. Because I have never been “punished” for drinking or smoking, and I was only suspended from the bus for three days for the vandalism incident (whatever, it’s not like those buses are in great condition anyway, what was the harm in a little permanent marker?).
But not returning library books? That can get you arrested.

At least, it can get you arrested in Iowa, possibly because there is nothing else to do in Iowa.

A woman in Iowa (obviously) was arrested for “stealing” a library book (obviously). The book is valued at $13.95, but she had to pay $250 to get out of jail. It’s not as though the arrest was entirely random; she checked the book out in April, was contacted repeatedly by mail and phone, and a police officer visited her home last September. All to no avail. This terrible criminal insisted on continuing with her evil ways, and clearly she got what she deserved.
Don’t worry, though, because this was only a fifth degree theft charge. See?

The theft of property not exceeding two hundred dollars in value is theft in the fifth degree. Theft in the fifth degree is a simple misdemeanor.

Yeah. That’s straight from Iowa law.

Let’s be serious for a moment. What aggravates me about this entirely idiotic course of action is how serious the theft of a library book was taken.
In my opinion, America does not deal with most of its criminals nearly harshly enough. I’ve heard of countries that take away your license after your first D.U.I., which seems entirely reasonable to me. And I’m pretty sure most other prisons don’t allow their inmates access to cable TV, pornography, and the Internet.
God forbid, however, that a woman who fails to return a library book go unpunished.

Is it just me, or is this a serious waste of taxpayers’ dollars?

Okay, I don’t have a problem with them sending the woman to jail. She wasted the time and resources of the library workers as well as the police. She could have simply paid the late fees/paid for a new book. Not that hard. She may have deprived other library patrons of the book. Clearly, this was theft. So I don’t mind that part. Except I still have library books that were due…oh….at least seven years ago.
My problem is that while police should be cracking down on people with slightly more pressing criminal issues, the only area I’ve seen a crackdown in is in library matters.

What have we learned?
Absolutely nothing, apparently.


In Georgia, the statute of limitations for simple misdemeanors is two years. So I’m a thief, but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Published in: on January 26, 2009 at 4:28 pm  Comments (2)  
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I can has deathburger?

I was determined to stay away from my blog until after I go back to school in mid-January. Because, you know, when you sit around the house all day for an entire month, the last thing you want to do is try to entertain yourself. I have literally been sleeping until 1 PM (not intentional, and not wanted). Tonight I went to bed at about 8:45, only to wake up at 11:45. Funny how that works. Since I have nothing better to do until I decide to pop Happy Gilmore into my brand-new Acer widescreen laptop (my old one broke, sadly), I’m going to write a post.

No, not about Christmas. I was filled with Christmas cheer this season, and I’m still listening to Christmas music, but you’ve read enough about how blessed we are. You must be over it.

Here’s an interesting lil’ news story I found nearly a month ago: a guy attacked his girlfriend. With a hamburger.

The guy and his girlfriend got into a fight, and she wanted to get out of the car, and he wouldn’t let her. For some reason, the window as open (clearly, she didn’t want to leave the car that badly), and so she threw his drink out of the window.
Now, I totally understand what happens next. If someone threw my Coca-Cola out of the car, I would be quite upset. Would I buy another, or at least make the perp buy me another? Oh, heck no. I would obviously take my delicious McDonald’s sandwich and smash it into the face of the soda-throwing hellraiser.

That’s what you would do, right?

Now, look, the guy really shouldn’t have done it. It was a bit of an overreaction. But should he really have been charged with assault? The guy was released on $1,000 bail for smearing a hamburger on his girlfriend’s face! Seriously, what I want to know is a) why he wouldn’t let her out of the car and b) why she couldn’t get out of the car. Because if you’re really determined, you will get out of that car. Particularly if the vehicle’s windows are open.

So, what have we learned? Torture’s fine, murderers can get released in a matter of years, but those damn boyfriends with their hamburgers?! They’re clearly a menace to our society. And they must be stopped.

Published in: on December 27, 2008 at 1:08 am  Leave a Comment  

In my day, you had to actually SEE the doctor to get billed

I guess that’s simply not true anymore.

A Dallas woman waited 19 hours in the emergency room, never saw a doctor – and still was billed for $162.

She broke a bone in her leg while playing volleyball, but became fed up with waiting for so long, so she went home. However, while she was waiting in line, a nurse checked her vital signs in order to assess her place in line. This only lasted a few minutes, but evidently 5 minutes equals $162. That hospital must be good, because that’s $32.40 per minute.
Okay, okay, I don’t know if the assessment literally lasted 5 minutes, but how long does it take to check someone’s vital signs? Particularly when they’ve only broken a bone?

Anyway, the hospital’s vice president, whose in charge of billing, insists she’s paying for the assessment, not for waiting in line. The woman, who has no insurance, says she doesn’t plan to pay. I wouldn’t either.

A few days before her visit, a 58-year-old man went to the ER with stomach pains, waited for 19 hours, and then died of cardiac arrest. Possibly at the same hospital, although the article doesn’t specifically say.

But that means you must be doing something wrong, right? I understand that hospitals aren’t big enough or well-staffed enough to get everyone in and out in a reasonable matter, but c’mon. It’s one thing to charge someone after you check their vitals, but then somebody dies AFTER you do this really expensive check? That’s just ridiculous.

 Other Texas hospitals also charge for assessments, but not all do, like Baylor University Medical Center. So what have we learned? If you’re in Texas and you get hurt, go there instead.

Published in: on October 31, 2008 at 9:20 am  Leave a Comment  

Don’t name your pets with people names, don’t name your kids with pet names, and we’ll all be okay.

Some people are so desperate about getting voter registration up that they even sent registration material to an Illinois goldfish.

A dead Illinois goldfish.

Okay, so it may not have been on purpose. The goldfish’s name was Princess. The paperwork probably came form the “Women’s Voices, Women Vote” project, because they evidence sent nearly 1 million mailings to Illinois households in August with a list that included some pets.
The reason for this confusion is understandable: some of the pets had names such as Polly or…Princess.
I actually know a girl named Princess. Not well, but she does exist. So it’s easy to see how the volunteers of the projects might become confused.

Actually, what I want to know is where they got this list from in the first place. In this case, the family of the goldfish had once provided the goldfish’s name on a form when they got a second phone line (as a joke?). But is there someone out there with a list of my past & present pets – Zipper, Boots, Molly, William, Furball? Will Molly and William ever be mailed voter registration materials? I hope so.

So, what have we learned? If you have a pet, give it a pet’s name. Zipper is a great name for a pet. Boots, too. Furball was an evil vicious cat, but clearly he was a cat.
Molly the cat and William the dog? Not so much.
Princess is a pet’s name, in my opinion, so that should be on the restricted list.

And all the world’s problems will be solved.

Published in: on October 23, 2008 at 9:23 am  Comments (1)  

People do stupid things…

…People have always done stupid things, and people will continue to do stupid things, because people…ARE STUPID.
A viewer of some news show I used to watch (I really wish I could remember the show, because I know I had a huge crush on the guy who hosted it) sent in those words of wisdom.

Today I was reminded of that ever-so-inspirational quote when I came across this gem of a news story.

A man SECRETLY named his child “Sarah McCain Palin.” Instead of Ava Grace, the name his wife had previously chosen.
He’ll be sleeping on the couch for some time, I’m sure. The shock hasn’t even fully set in with his wife, yet.
Can you change a baby’s name really easily? Particularly if it’s ridiculous? I hope so. I mean, maybe not Ava Grace, maybe something simple…even Sarah would work! A compromise of sorts.

When asked why he did something sooooo ridiculously stupid, the man replied that he wanted “to get the word out” about the McCain/Palin campaign. Because, you know, the presidential election that’s coming up? Yeah, apparently nobody knows about it. All that news coverage and all these blog posts? Getting nowhere, evidently.

Here’s the best part: “‘I took one for the cause,’ he said. ‘I can’t give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little.'”
Do you think he’s going to put his daughter in the yard with a nametag for all the world to see?

Published in: on October 20, 2008 at 10:14 am  Leave a Comment  
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