This post is going to be ironic

It’s ironic because I can’t think of a catchy title for what I want to write about, and what I’m writing about is how to have a catchy slogan.

Well, what I’m really writing about are slogans that aren’t catchy. I don’t know how they could be better, but I do know why they’re terrible.

Like this one, from Smuckers:
With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good.
But here’s the thing: no, it doesn’t. This slogan is awful because it expects you to take what they say and believe it, with no questions asked. There’s no apparent reason why it’s good, it just “has” to be.

Does she or doesn’t she? from Clairol hair color
I had no idea that coloring your hair was akin to having sex with random strangers. At least, that’s the question it sounds like they’re answering to me.

You Too Can Have A Body Like Mine. Charles Atlas ad
Why does Mr. Atlas assume I want a body like his? And I would never date a guy that had a body like his.

Probably the best lager in the world. Carlsberg
Probably?! What kind of hook is that?

Put a Tiger in Your Tank. ESSO Gaseline
Actually, that one’s great, because my mind automatically translates it to something sexual. Unlike Clairol, however, I don’t think the ad was supposed to do that.

There’s a smile in every Hershey Bar.
Creepy.

The milk chocolate that melts in your mouth – not in your hand. M&Ms
Lies.

I’m lovin’ it! McDonald’s
Annoying, because they’re trying too hard to be hip. “We love to see you smile” was awesome. I love to see me smile as well. But who is this mysterious person who is “lovin'” it? I understood the “we.” I don’t understand the “I.” Suddenly the ad speaks for the audience?

I’d rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity. Stella Artois
Wow. Just wow.

Can you hear me now? Good!Verizon Wireless
I know I said I was going to explain why these don’t work (which isn’t even true, really, I explained just about nothing), but this is such a great slogan, I had to post it. Verizon Wireless wins.

I use AT&T/Cingular

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Published in: on November 14, 2008 at 3:26 pm  Comments (3)  
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